ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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