Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
