it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
