walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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