Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
