I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
