If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
