OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
