dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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