I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize