"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize