i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize