I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
