no, he came in my armpit
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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