somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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