kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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