i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
