she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
