Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Randomize
