Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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