I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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