does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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