she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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