Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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