I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
they need to just BURY HIM!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize