and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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