wat bout pragnant strippers??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I forget how to act sober
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize