oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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