i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
