we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
