Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
