why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
this will be a night to untag.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
