If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
