I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
