I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
