just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
