what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
