Don't you send me to vm
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
