I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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