if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
