Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
