I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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