I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
