I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
