you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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