3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
