I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
