I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
