I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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