I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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