weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
