Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
worst night to have a conscience
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
