What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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