i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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