East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
