his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
