No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
