best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im holly from the hills drunk
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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