Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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