There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
