dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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