you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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