Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Someone came in the potted fern
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize