Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
