what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
