I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
