In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
